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The History Channeler

Join self-certified, award-pining histographer Scott Pinkmountain each week as he spelunks the annals of history from before the Big Bang right up until this very moment right now, heroically embodying the philosophic truism: Comedy + Tragedy = Time. Broadcasting live from the historic Capital Defunct Breakfast Soda Building in Hollywood, CA (not to be confused with the Capitol Building in Hollywood, CA), Pinkmountain brings you the #1 rated The-History-Channeler-themed podcast with the help of producer “Silent” Syd Ballabad, superstar intern Chakra Kennedy-Onassis, super-not-star intern Higgenbaum, some nameless interchangeable “support” staff, and wealthy celebrity guests.
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The History Channeler
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May 11, 2016

We don't recommend starting here if you're new to the show. Also, if you haven't yet listened to episode #29, do so first.

 

That being said, and while we've got your attention, have you tried our THC branded fragrant plumb muffins? You should. Available at all retail stores and on lines.

May 4, 2016

*If you're new to the show, WELCOME! However, we don't recommend starting here. Too much en media. Roll it back a few episodes. And bring us lunch.

In this episode, we take you live to the super-sub-basement of the Capital Building (Holloywood, CA), former home of the now defunct Capital Breakfast Soda Company, where Dr. Scott Pinkmountain excavates Esqueegee Accidente's secret vaults to unearth his treasure.

Apr 27, 2016

Thusly careens the saga of Blaire and Blaine, winterswept upon a field of hoppy, their feelings all but showing through their woolen triple-knits and dairy-dun blazers, caps hinting at askew, kerchiefs rakish and unsoil'd, sentiment reaching supernatural heights. Tune in next week to find out which one is Blaire, and which one Blaine.

Apr 20, 2016

Dear hardcore THC'ers, friends, supplicants and donors, it's our pleasure to introduce to you by name the many gentlefolk who help make The History Channeler the most special dear treasure that it is. Without their selfless sacrifice and grueling labor (under tyrannical, sub-human conditions), this show would be nothing more than the raving drivel of a smug, semi-literate neanderthal (with all requisite apologies to neanderthals). So without further ado, and before we run out of sp

AW SHIT BRO! IT'S 4/20!! I'm Audi.

Apr 13, 2016

I put the phrase "sentient eels" in the TAG box, as an "easter" egg for future generations "to" discover.

- Higgen, baum

 

Follow twitter @THChanneler

-Jeff Bezos, Twintern

 

Who gave you morons the Libsyn password?

-CKO, Intern #1

Apr 6, 2016

Listen carefully to this week's episode for secret embedded clues as to whether or not Marmaduke will get into yet another zany escapade with Dagwood, Garfield, Opus and the gang. Will hijinx ensue? You betcha they will.

Mar 30, 2016

We got a new intern specifically to handle our online fingers and such. You may now follow The History Channeler at THChanneler on a twitter thing. According to our new intern, who will be recognized soon.

Mar 23, 2016

Episode 23 marks a unique milestone in the life of every podcast. As the most numerically optimized double digit prime number, 23 resonates vibrationally across both the heart and perennial gland, opening the sacred "historic" eye of insight. That this particular episode falls on the 23rd day of the month, sets the stage for a once-in-a-generation level cosmic portal occurrence. Enjoy. (CKO is a straight-shootin' son-of-a-gun).

Mar 16, 2016

"History" she ululated, "is a many-fingered parasite, not unlike the citadel at dusk." She unwrapped a gumball, pocketed the meaty bit and let the casing fall from her forgiving fingers to the loosely-packed earth upon which she trod. Trod. (CKO in perpetuity)

Mar 9, 2016

We'd like to use this space to introduce you to our invaluable support staff members. Unfortunately, there's no one on our support staff that we consider invaluable. Unless "invaluable" means "unvaluable," which, doesn't it seem like it should? (Syd, can you make a note of that for a future Sacred Entomology segment? - SP)

Mar 2, 2016

For those of you just tuning in, Palsy the Occasionally Sober Puffin is our one-puffin band, supplying interstitial jams, meandering noodles, theme songs, and a ray of (gin-soaked) sunshine to the otherwise glum shadow of our existence.

Feb 24, 2016

This is a very serious episode, mainly because Scott just discovered that he could bold-ify text here. (CKO STILL RUNS THE F'ING SHOW)

Feb 17, 2016

This is a episod of Histarie Chunnel for earpods to lissen on. -frum Higgenbaum, inturn.

Feb 10, 2016

To harness the unlimited power of a universe, press here.

Feb 3, 2016

In certain episodes of history, the history is foretold in biology. Destiny blossoms from a Darwinian soil sample. As clocks run backward to beat time itself, episode 16 defies the very structure of DNA itself, itself. Never will you see whatever it is we talk about in this episode the same. (CKO for the TKO)

Jan 27, 2016

The entomolygy is sacred in today's episode. So sacred and relevant we cannot address it in glyph-form. That is why we made an audio podcast and don't care to waste (y)our time describing the indescribable here. There are other features to this show as well, including something entirely new with a theme song of its own. Scott has been insisting on a new theme song for almost every show lately and Palsy the Occasionally Sober Puffin is showing some wear for the worse. If Palsy dies, his puffin-blood will be on Scott's hands. (CKO ringin' the bell, yo)

Jan 20, 2016

If you are reading this, it means you have unlocked the secret 37th PRIME level, granting you access to the full, uncensored version of episode #14 of America's favorite The History Channeler-themed podcast. Listen carefully for clues to our 2016 Treasure Hunt. Prizes include the privilege to leave a positive review for the sub-continent's top-rated The History Channeler-themed podcast and several opportunities to affiliate yourself with our product(s). (CKO ragin' full on)

Jan 13, 2016

This week, on The History Channeler, it's a classic case of will they/won't they, should they/could they, how would they/would it be legal in Arkansas if so. Passions run hot in this tropical setting as the clock runs out on those of whom which we find the most diverting pleasure to passively observe. This is must-feel podcasting as its sublimest. (CKO back on top!)

Jan 6, 2016

Higgenbaum, please insert the description copy that Chakra prepped and emailed to you before she left for vacation here. It's extremely important that you replace this note before episode launch on 1/6/15. Thanks - Syd.

Dec 23, 2015

As per usual, host Scott Pinkmountain goes deeper than deep to spelunk the depths of a topic oft eschewed by scholars of lesser quantity. Most of this episode was researched, written, edited and spelunked by Syd Ballabad and Chakra Kennedy Onassis. Higgenbaum obstructed.

Dec 16, 2015

Episode 10! It goes to 11. Featuring celebrity.

Dec 9, 2015

Episode #9 features unprecedented access to an inspiring historical figure with a new, in-depth presentation of Unauthorized Autobiography. Today's episode is sponsored by Dow Chemicals, Union Carbide, DuPont and Kramer/Frasier Industries. (cko for prez!)

Dec 2, 2015

Do you ever just feel kinda so-so? How about sometimes when it's dusk on a Sunday night and you're listening to Dr. Demento in the backseat on the way home when all you've got waiting for you is a dinner of leftovers and your unfinished math homework? Or you have to give a report on a book you haven't even taken out of the library, let alone read. Or the squirt-gun you tucked into your belt has leaked all over your crotch, again. Or right before the chiropractor administers general anesthesia? Well, the internet! (cko rools)

Nov 25, 2015

A very unique episode recorded away from our regular studio and you will recover why! Send cash or money orders to our P.O. Box please. No third party checks. Your Name Here. CKO #1!

Nov 18, 2015

Today's show is sponsored by the new, exciting, fully fresh, active lifestyle, pumped super product, a power motivating, logical imperative, all-frills, heavy-duty, unbreakable, satisfaction-guaranteed, collapsible, flame-retardant, dual-use, culturally inclusive, light sensitive, pleasure-absorbent, white knuckle-inducing, highbrow, mildly caffeinated, BPO-free, dishwasher safe, unlimited warranty, implausibly multi-functional, dangerous to wield on rapid-transit but approved nonetheless, partially robotic, light-armor kevlar weave, intangibly mandatory fri

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